There are moments like this where you believe in fantasy. You actually believe that something you’ve imagined is coming true. It’s crazy how I’ve learned to somehow control these thoughts and decide whether they are worth my time. Remember those moments where you doubted everything, even the pain in your finger? Try doubting the pain in your heart. Try waking up and ignoring the fact that you are still completely broken. With all your strength inside, it is still impossible to please anyone. But there it is again, I’ve realized something…I can’t do it on my own. As much as I want to believe in my strength and my ability to keep resilience through any situation, I am nothing on my own. I need something…Just like all of us, I need something. You have your coffee and pills, the mary or the lucy, the fitness or the shame, the love or the hate. Whatever is it, you have it, you use it, you abuse it, you loose it. You always seem to end up loosing it, whether it drains your energy, drains your bank, or drains your emotions. We seem to loose everything at one point another…but really if we loose everything than why try? Well maybe that’s where we become worth something.